Friday, October 15, 2010

The Crayola Crayon Incident

After reading about my candy bar and dishwasher disasters, Carrie at A Chocolate-Covered To Do List wrote:

Her next trick: frying the microwave!  Please tell me that you have a microwave story?

I'm sorry but I don't have a microwave story. Sure, I've melted my fair share of plastic bowls by forgetfully leaving a metal spoon inside. Really, who hasn't? This comment did remind me of another disastrous time I tried to do something nice though.

I was in middle school and my family was preparing to move from San Jose, CA to Albuquerque, NM. Our house was spotless because my parents were getting ready to put it on the market (the value of homes in the Bay Area skyrocketed a few months after they sold the house, but that's a story for another day). Home by myself, I was wasting the afternoon reading magazines and came across an idea for something nice to do for my mom. The magazine (American Girl, I think) suggested that I melt down my old crayons and pour them into heart-shaped molds.

I had heart-shaped molds! I gathered up all my old crayons, peeled off the paper wrappers, and put them in a pan on the stove. The magazine said to set the stove to low. I did.

But nothing happened.

I waited a little longer. I had my heart-shaped molds all ready to go and kept waiting for the crayons to melt. I stirred the pot of crayons, hoping to speed up the process, but even the ones on the bottom were barely becoming soft. Outside, I could hear the ice cream truck a few streets away. I wanted to go buy some ice cream but didn't want to leave the crayons unattended. I didn't think it was going to take so long! My mom would be home soon and the entire point of melting the crayons into hearts was that it be a surprise.

So, I cranked up the heat.

It was still taking forever. When I heard the ice cream truck arrive on my street, I went outside. It had been so long and nothing had happened with the crayons. I didn't think anything of stepping away from the stove for just a minute.

This, of course, is the OOPS! part of my story.

You wouldn't think that crayons would go from being completely solid to being melted, boiling, and spewing hot drops of wax on every surface in only a matter of minutes, right? The wax was EVERYWHERE! Little dots of Jungle Green and Robin's Egg Blue were on the cabinet doors, the floor, the fridge, and even the ceiling. And it was still bubbling, spitting out more and more colored spots every second. I held my ice cream bar in my mouth (to protect it from the wax, of course) and ran to turn off the stove, but was much too big of a wimp not to turn back from the hot wax flying at me.

I ended up standing at the edge of the kitchen, waiting for the crayon downpour to subside and enjoying my ice cream bar, before turning off the heat. By the time the last drop of Vivid Violet left the pan, our kitchen looked like The Cat in the Hat had stopped by. And just in time to put the house on the market.

I remember wishing at the time that it hadn't happened, but also being well aware that I would not get in trouble. After all, my plan had been to make heart-shaped crayons for my mom as a sweet surprise.

How do you think that played out for me?

 It's probably best to just keep me out of here altogether.


  1. lol! Your mom must have wanted to KILL you! Great story!

  2. That's hilarious...reminded me of a funny story of my own from my childhood...that I'm going to bet worked out as good for me as that one did for you!

    Have a great weekend

  3. I'm going to call people up and read this to them LOL!

  4. Melting wax always needs to be done in a double boiler and your magazine probably said that! My melted wax story: My brother couldn't understand why the kitchen sink in his house wasn't draining properly. Then he discovered the trap was full of solidified wax from the remains one of his daughter's projects! She had poured the leftover wax down the drain!

  5. Very funny! Glad you were'nt my kid! (jk)
    Is that your kitchen? It is stunning!

  6. Oh so much fail! That satisfies my need for you to have a microwave fail story, sans microwave. I wonder if it would have worked better doing it in a microwave? Containment of mess?

  7. Holy crap! That is fantastic.Reminds me of a story I should post on my blog one of these days... Arent those the best...The "I was trying to do something nice but it epically failed" stories.

    Mine was my siblings and I wanted to build my mom a pool. We had just moved to a gorgeous house but she really wished there was a pool. We thought we could dig a bg hole, line it with bricks, and fill it with water. LOL oh she was pissed when she saw the HUGE hole.

  8. Suzanne, it is my kitchen :)
    Carrie, I am quite certain that we would have needed a new microwave afterward ;)

  9. Just hopping by to say hello! I am following and can’t wait to read more from your blog.
    Brandi from Blkosiner’s Book Blog

  10. I have a microwave story,lol. When I was 18, my dad and I were making Mr.Noodles in the microwave(the ones that can go in there). So I told my dad not to forget the water. He laughed at me saying he wouldn't. All was fine until I was making mine. I can still remember looking into the kitchen wondering why I couldn't see anything. The whole room was full of smoke. I FORGOT to add the water to mine and the Styrofoam melted. It's not a pleasant smell and it sticks in your microwave too.
    My whole family has lots of burning stories.. like the time my mom lit the toaster on fire, that was sitting on the stove(on my sister's birthday no less)

  11. Happy Follow Friday!!! Hope you will stop by my blog too! My publisher and I are looking for a group of bloggers for a huge blog tour next year before the release of book two in my 'A Sense of Truth' series! We will be giving out a few more copies of The Thirteenth Chime (we can only give out so many, being open to e-books gives an upper hand) and are still open to all interviews and guest posts. We want to fill up the Amazon page with reviews and try to reach as many people as we can!!! Hope you might consider being a part of the team! Thank you either way!

    Emma Michaels

  12. That's a great idea! Thanks so much for stopping by! I am your newest follower, hope you enjoy your weekend!!

  13. LOL! Too funny!

    BTW - Your kitchen is beautiful!

  14. Sorry, ruining the kitchen wasn't such a great idea but the crayon mold is!

  15. Oh I do love a good disaster story! Thanks so much for linking up to Finished for Friday.

  16. This story is hilarious... I love your kitchen btw. I'm a new follower and can't wait to read more. Found you by seeing you at Tickled Pink.

  17. I like the part where you enjoyed the ice cream before rushing in to turn down the heat.
    Sounds as if you had been through a few disasters before.

  18. I knew this was your link before I clicked had Lamb written all over it!

  19. visiting from Holly's 504 Main.
    This is definitely a tickled pink story.
    Have a great weekend.
    Please stay out of the kitchen. LOL

  20. What a funny story!

    Hi, I'm blog hopping today and I'm a new follower from, a blog geared towards making healthy and cool bento lunches for kids, and other delicious recipes. I'm also a 'Blog of Note' - I hope you'll visit and follow me back! Thanks!


  21. Oh man! I've had that happen to me too! It's a pain to get all that wax off of everything!

    I'm following from Friday Follow! :)

  22. You crack me up ;-) I'm your newest follower from the Surfin Saturday Hop-

  23. L-O-L!!!! Hilarious!! I am coming by to follow via the blog hop and I'm sure glad I did. Next time I'm having a bad day I'll remember this story! Thanks for the laugh! Hoping you will come by Mommy In The Baking and follow back!

  24. Hello! I am your newest follower from a Wednesday Blog Hop. I'd love it if you would follow back at one or all four of my blogs :)

    Have a great week!

  25. I am your newest follower!
    Please follow back, I would greatly appreciate it!
    Quick Tattletails

  26. That is so terribly hilarious. Glad I wasn't you if you had to clean it up.

    Check me out if you like at Ninth Street Notions

  27. Hello!

    Found you on a blog hop and am your newest follower - Would love for you to check out my blog and follow back if you like it.

    Check out my "retail therapy" giveaways and enter a few, there are some great products to win.

    I also have a fantastic weekly blog hop.


  28. New GFC follower from Friendly Wednesday.


  29. Out Blog Hopping! I am your Newest GFC Follower! IF you get a chance I would love for you to come follow my blog :-)

  30. Stopping by from today’s blog hop and am your newest follower. I hope that 1 of my blogs interests you too.


  31. I'm your newest follower! Please swing by my blog as well, if you get the chance! Thanks!

    And Then There Were 4...

  32. Here from Tuesdays Gone Blog Hop and love your story. It totally sounds like something I would do!

  33. Hahaha yay! Thanks so much for linking up this post Lamb! I remember this one! So funny! You nong! :P haha

  34. Great story! Can't say I haven't had a moment or two exactly like this!

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