Monday, July 28, 2014

Ready for My Gallery Debut

As a woman in my 30s, I'm well over the target age of the new Disney series Girl Meets World. But, of course, how can I not watch it? Cory and Topanga are back! They're just like me! And they're sooo old! Cory and I grew up in a time without the internet, digital cameras, cell phones, hybrid cars, iPads, and reality shows. We grew up in the age of Paintbrush for Windows, a pre-Photoshop time where your photos were limited to looking more or less exactly as you took them (which was a surprise in itself, as you only got 24 photo opportunities per expensive roll.) And it was glorious.

Why is this suddenly on my mind? I was browsing through my backup CDs from more than a decade ago (I could go back even further, but computers can't accommodate any of my floppy or zip disks anymore.) I found all kinds of nonsense. My first ever conversation with Sexy Nerd was saved, which seems like a wonderfully romantic bonus of meeting your soulmate online...until you actually read through it and cringe each time you said something stupid, dorky, or flirty in a way that no one should ever be. I was pretty much cringing through the entire conversation and can't bear to read it ever again.

I also found one of my most quintessentially 90s things - Paintbrush "artwork" that I'd saved (because, obviously, why wouldn't you save your Paintbrush drawings?) You know Paintbrush was awesome because Blogger was able to upload all 17 in just a few seconds.

Bonus points to anyone who can figure out what each picture is supposed to be. Enjoy!

The poor little guy looks so happy!






Tuesday, July 22, 2014

The Most Embarrassing Work Story EVER

It's already Tuesday night and I haven't posted anything. This calls for a rerun (don't worry - it's a good one!) And, yes, I am still working at the same place. No, my boss has not changed at all.

What's Your Size? An Embarrassing Work Story

Working in a dental office is wonderful. I have an extremely lovable, quirky boss. Remember when she bought me a cheesecake and a box of Fairytale Brownies? She's all about doing nice things for her employees. Christmas is no exception, of course, and every year we wonder what gift she's going to give us.

The other day, there was a list posted at work, asking all employees to write down a couple personal details to help our boss with her holiday shopping. Personal? Just little things, you know, like your bra size. On display. For everyone in the office to read. I don't think we're getting food this year.

I answered her questions (nothing like a little peer pressure, right?) and returned to my job, answering phones and posting insurance checks. The list was thankfully removed from the wall at some point. Later that afternoon, I received a call from a man that I was just about ready to send to collections, (ain't I mean?) who wanted to resolve his balance.

As I wrote down his credit card information, I could hear giggling from my coworkers behind me. The next thing I knew, my boss was standing over me, holding a long string of dental floss. My posted bra size? She wasn't believing it and had decided that the most logical thing to do was measure me herself using the floss. In front of everyone. While talking to a patient.

Clip art licensed from the Clip Art Gallery on

Unsurprisingly, I discovered when I went to process the credit card payment that I'd taken down the information wrong.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

The Best Eyeliner for a Cyclops

It took me until age 30 to finally accept the magic of liquid eyeliner. When I saw rows of dark brown L.A. Colors liquid eyeliner at Dollar Tree (only a buck!) it was impossible to resist any longer. I'm glad I came around - it makes such a difference. Still, being an eyeliner newbie, my morning routine comes to a serious, quiet halt each day as I try to patiently draw a thin, steady line on each eye. Some attempts are more successful than others.

This morning, I drew the best eyeliner line ever on my right eyelid. Really, it was PERFECT! I should have taken a photo of it, in all its skinny, smudgeless glory. Quite pleased with myself, I popped the eyeliner brush back in its tube in preparation of what would surely be an equally successful left eye application.

Then, this happened:

The bristles refused to go back. I began to trim off the stragglers with my nail clippers, but soon realized they were all stragglers. In desperation, (hey, I had only one eye lined. And it was perfect!) the brush was washed clean, dried, and doused with half a can of hairspray to help hold its shape.

Still, the bristled splayed out, laughing at me and my absurd one-eyed makeup.

Really, eyeliner?

Monday, July 7, 2014

AutoZone Cashier Quote(s) of the Day

Sexy Nerd makes life so easy for me. He takes out the garbage, scrubs the toilets, cooks dinner occasionally, and changes the oil in my car without me even needing to mention it. Today, my Chevy Volt was due for it's first ever oil change (12,000 miles - I love that car!) and Sexy Nerd had everything he needed for the job, minus the correct size wrench. Off he went to our local AutoZone.

Sexy Nerd is a mechanical engineer. He knows his cars. However, the AutoZone cashier wasn't so sure, and proceeded to lecture him on being very careful when opening the wrench packaging so he'd be able to return it if it was the wrong size.

Sexy Nerd: Don't worry. It's the right one.

Cashier: I'd better look it up, just in case.

Sexy Nerd: That's okay. I know this is the one I need.

Cashier: No, no. I'll just take a quick look. What kind of car is it?

Sexy Nerd: It's a 2013 Chevy Volt.

Cashier: (...awkward pause...) Is that a car?

(...more moments of awkwardness...)

Oh! Is that one of those electrical ones?
How much did that cost you?

The Volt actually only costs about as much as a Prius, but I wish Sexy Nerd had replied "a hundred grand," just to see the look on the guy's face.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Time for a New Mattress?

***The $300 off coupon listed below has expired, but you can still contact Amerisleep after placing your order to save an additional $50 on top of other promotions. Just tell them that LambAround referred you!***

I've received a lot of emails from readers who are considering ordering an Amerisleep memory foam mattress. It's funny because I don't actually work for the company, yet I've become somewhat of a brand ambassador because of the review I posted on my blog! Rather than keep responding to the same questions individually, it seemed like a smart idea to post the questions and answers here. If you think of a question that isn't here, please feel free to post it in the comments or send me an email.

And, speaking as the self-proclaimed, unofficial Amerisleep ambassador, they are now tipping me off to their sales ahead of time and providing additional discounts only for LambAround readers (WOO HOO HOO! right?) If you've been considering upgrading to a new mattress, wait until this 4th of July weekend. For most customers, the holiday special is going to be $250 off. However, only for my blog readers, the Amerisleep 4th of July special is actually $300 off! All you have to do is enter coupon code LAMB4TH at checkout to receive the higher discount. And if the code gives you any trouble, just let me know and I'll ruffle some Amerisleep feathers. Muah ha ha! (evil laugh)

(Okay, there's a slight possibility this "unofficial brand ambassador" thing might be going to my head...)

 Tempur-Pedic would have you believe only their mattress can pass the wine glass test, but Amerisleep has them matched!

Amerisleep FAQs

1. Do you still like your Amerisleep mattress?

   Yes, Sexy Nerd and I both love our mattress. We purchased a king-sized Liberty bed from Amerisleep in February, 2012 and although it has been more than 2 years, our mattress still seems exactly like new. There is no sagging anywhere, which is great for me because when Sexy Nerd gets out of bed (usually around 5am - crazy!) usually I enjoy stretching out in the center and taking up the entire mattress. I'm a weird sleeper like that. With our old mattress (a Simmons Beautyrest that was HORRIBLE) I was unable to sleep in the center because soon after purchasing it new, there were 2 deep, firm divots in the mattress from where each of us typically slept.

2. Does your Amerisleep mattress get too hot during the summer?

   After reading memory foam mattress reviews online before making our purchase, I expected that the mattress would become more firm or more soft based on the temperature of our bedroom. However, I was pleasantly surprised that was not the case. We keep our room super-cold in the winter (I'm a bit of a cheapskate!) During the summer, the mattress seems to be the same temperature as everything else - no warmer or cooler than the surrounding blanket.

3. How long did it take for the chemical smell to disappear from your Amerisleep memory foam mattress?

   This was actually another pleasant surprise. I'm sensitive to chemical smells and worried about how long the "off-gassing" period would be. I expected that the mattress would give me a headache if used right away, similar to the reaction I have when someone wears too much perfume. My plan was to sleep in a separate room for at least the first few nights after unwrapping/expanding our new Liberty bed. However, it seemed just fine when we first received it and, sure enough, I woke up without any head discomfort after the very first night.

4. What's the best thing about your Amerisleep mattress?
   Sexy Nerd would tell you it's that he is no longer waking up with back pain. Whenever we travel or he goes on a business trip, he always looks forward to coming home to our mattress. For me, the best part has to do with the photo above - no transfer of motion! As a lifelong sufferer of idiopathic insomnia, I'm an extremely light sleeper. When Sexy Nerd moves or gets out of bed, our mattress stays put.

5. Would you recommend an Amerisleep mattress to a friend?

   Obviously! LOL.

6. Is an Amerisleep mattress worth the extra cost?
   Although I do believe our mattress is worth a premium, I think it's important to note that the cost really isn't much higher than any other mattress, as long as you purchase it on sale. In fact, our Amerisleep bed ended up costing less than our Simmons Beautyrest. It's also a much better value because it lasts so much longer. We paid over $1,000 for our last mattress and were ready to list it on Craigslist within a year (not that we had much luck with the deep grooves running through it.) More than two years later, our Amerisleep mattress is still like new.

7. Is there anything else I should consider before ordering an Amerisleep mattress?

   Never underestimate the importance of customer service. I have probably emailed Amerisleep dozens of times over the past several years (first with questions before ordering my mattress, and later with questions from blog readers.) Everyone I've interacted with at Amerisleep has been helpful and professional. I highly recommend them. With our last mattress, a king-size Simmons Beautyrest we purchased new for an obscene amount of money, we thought we were investing in a quality product from a reputable company. However, when our expensive mattress turned out to be defective, it was almost impossible to reach customer service. When we finally did, Simmons would not honor our warranty. Although they acknowledged our mattress was clearly defective, they said the warranty was voided when one corner of the mattress got scuffed moving into our new house. You can imagine our frustration! Now, I hate Simmons. They are my nemesis.

Now you know why we love our Amerisleep mattress so much. $300 off a mattress is one heck of a sale. Share this with your friends, family, and coworkers. Come to think of it, especially share it with your family - you don't want to visit and get stuck on their Simmons Beautyrest guest bed!

Have a fun 4th of July, my bloggy friends!
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