Saturday, October 3, 2015

Working Hard in Hawaii

Sexy Nerd's job requires him to travel almost every week. He flies so many places so frequently, half the time I'm not even sure where he is. I just asked him if he saw the zebra balloon in the air over Albuquerque yesterday morning and he said no. I asked if he'd seen any balloons and he said no. Incredulously, I asked how that could possibly be, as there are hot air balloons everywhere right now. He hasn't seen any balloons because he hasn't been here. Oh, right.

Is Sexy Nerd in Washington D.C. this week? Napa Valley? Instead of being home, the poor guy is always stuck sleeping at a resort or dining at a gourmet steakhouse. Poor, poor Sexy Nerd.

Recently, his work made him go to Hawaii. Don't you feel sooo bad for him?

I hated for him to feel homesick, all alone in a tropical paradise, so I tagged along. Yes, I am the best wife ever, obviously.

Ted's Bakery, one of our favorite restaurants in the world. We even bought our wedding cake there, which was a great decision because now we get to have our wedding cake again every time we visit. Their meal options are great too. Try the loco moco!

We took the Pineapple Express train tour at the Dole Plantation. It was fun enough to do once (I purchased Go Oahu cards for us, which I highly recommend and which included this activity. Otherwise, I'd have skipped the Pineapple Express train.) The highlight of our plantation tour? The woman in front of us was recording everything with her cell phone and her video camera simultaneously. Kind of silly when you consider that, for most of the tour, all we could see was dirt!

Shave Ice 

It tasted better than it looks!
We had an authentic Hawaiian lunch from The Waiahole Poi Factory. I enjoyed my tomato salad, full of tomatoey-goodness...until Sexy Nerd revealed it was actually raw salmon! I don't even like cooked salmon.

I highly recommend a visit to the Byodo-In Temple on Oahu. After fighting the Hawaii traffic and crowds, it's nice to have a serene setting to decompress.

All of our Hawaii photos were taken on Sexy Nerd's new phone, which only he is allowed to use (per Sexy Nerd. Yeah, he's no fun sometimes). We almost went the entire trip without any photos of him. Luckily, our final stop before heading to the airport was the Bishop Museum. There, this happened:

*Jurassic Park Theme Music*

Yee haw!

"Wait. You're not going to share these photos on your blog, right?"

Friday, October 2, 2015

A Mother's Helpful Guideance

I recently went to Hawaii and getting there was a comedy of errors. It all started the night before my flight, when I was going to finish up a few last-minute errands, then get to bed nice and early. My mom had even agreed to spend the night at my house, ensuring she wouldn't be late to take me to the airport. I had all my ducks in a row.

Errand #1: Order the Shabby Apple Alana dress I'd been eyeing. By ordering it before my trip, I could take advantage of a MyPoints promotion for free United Airlines miles. I'd been thinking about which dress to buy all week, and was finally certain of my decision. My mom was sitting next to me and she glanced over at my computer as I was on the final checkout screen.

It's super-cute and flattering, right?

"That's the dress you're buying?" my mom asked, making a face. "Ugh!"

I'd thought the dress was very me. I envisioned myself wearing it everywhere, twirling the billowy fabric in an elegant, yet carefree way. I showed her more photos and the positive reviews.

My mom added "That's the sort of dress you find at Goodwill for five dollars. And even then, it's more than anyone would be willing to pay for it." Somehow, she must have sensed this wasn't what I'd wanted to hear. "But it's up to you! Get it if you want." I removed the dress from my cart, thought about it some more, and decided once-and-for-all to go through with my purchase.

"You're the one who has to wear it."

My mom didn't care for the Shabby Apple Saffron dress either, which was my second choice and was basically the exact same dress in yellow. To be fair, I agreed that the dress might make me look like a bee and/or cause vertigo.

I spent the rest of the evening removing, re-adding, and again removing the same dress from my Shabby Apple cart, before finally going to bed later than usual and with no errands accomplished.

 Weeks and much indecisiveness later, I ordered the Shabby Apple Aspen dress.
My mom hasn't seen it.

Monday, September 21, 2015

The Grump Goes to Santa Fe

Once upon a time, there was a Grump. He didn't always used to be a Grump. Maybe it was his skepticism of the value of a staycation. Perhaps he was frustrated with people judging his water-carrying backpack, saying that he was much too close to home to dress like such a tourist.

Some people just don't like Santa Fe.

"Santa Fe people," thought the Grump "are a bunch of hippies. I will not smile, no matter how much my cute wife wants a photo of me in front of the Santa Fe sign. You must never smile at a hippie or they will steal your power."

When faced with the prospect of walking to Canyon Road to browse the art galleries, the Grump crumpled his oversized hat in frustration. "We have perfectly good art in Albuquerque," he muttered.

 Shopping at the Santa Fe Plaza only seemed to create a Sleepy Grump. "We rode the train here," he was quick to point out. "You can't get any of this junk home. It's all overpriced anyway. The music in this store sounds like lasers. It's stupid."

After that, the Grump refused to look in his cheerful wife's direction any more when she had her camera out.

Would the stupendous Santa Fe staycation be destroyed by the Grump? Wasn't there anything in Santa Fe that could interest a nerdy engineer?


 The Grump spotted something at the Railyard Park. His MBTs took him straight to it, lickety split.

"A bench suspended in the air? Is it just more foofy Santa Fe art or can you actually sit on it?"

The Grump sat down cautiously, prepared at any moment for the inferior Santa Fe engineering to land him in the dirt.
He didn't fall.

"Hmmm," thought the Grump, hardly a grump at all anymore.

Of all the fun things to do in Santa Fe, it had been a floating bench that turned his frown upside down!

Then his delightful wife stopped in the middle of the road to take a photo of a whimsical tree and asked him what he thought might be living inside.

And he went right back to being a grump.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

A Deathlike Slumber

Sexy Nerd and I have been together for more than 11 years. Keep this in mind while reading the following conversation we had yesterday:

Sexy Nerd: Hey! You know what I noticed the other night? You have sleep apnea.

Me: Wha?!

Sexy Nerd: You just stopped breathing the other night. You weren't breathing for, like, a minute. Then, you were gasping for breath. Then, you woke up. That must have been the cause of your insomnia problem all along. Sleep apnea!

Me: So, you think I've always stopped breathing for dangerous amounts of time, every night that you've known me?

Sexy Nerd: Yeah!

Me: never more than eleven years?

Sexy Nerd: ...

Me: And how long were you going to wait to see if I started breathing again? A minute seems like kind of a long time, don't you think?

Sexy Nerd: ...I...didn't want to risk waking you...because I love you...

So, apparently this is what my (most likely shortened) future holds:

CPAP machine - no way, jose
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