Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Anyone Home?

I'm here! I'm here! Apparently though, I'm jinxed. On Friday, I was going to post to LambAround at work during my lunch break. Our internet went down. No biggie, I thought. We were driving to Colorado in a few hours and I would just post when I arrived at my in-laws house in Buena Vista. Their internet was down too! Forever the optimist, I shrugged and said I would post when we got back home on Monday afternoon.

Things were looking up. We spent the morning hiking Black Canyon of the Gunnison with perfect, gorgeous weather.

Then, this happened:

What part of IT'S FREAKING SEPTEMBER!!! don't you understand, Colorado?

Our poor Chevy Volt was a trooper, but it just couldn't make it over the snow-packed mountains between Ouray and Durango. If your car slides off the icy road, it's usually an annoyance. If it slides off the road of that particular mountain pass, you plummet to a terrifying death! We turned around. 400+ miles out of our way and a day late getting back to work, I'm finally posting to my blog!

Oh, and our journey involved an out of the way, much-researched stop at a restaurant for which I'd purchased a gift certificate/coupon on Thursday night. They aren't just out of business. They're so out of business that an entirely different business is (and has been for months, it seems) operating where they're supposed to be.

JINXED!

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Leisure Suit Larry


Do you remember the raunchy 90s computer game, Leisure Suit Larry? He's real! I met him just the other day.



Even though it's the year 2014, Larry hasn't changed a bit. He came into our pediatric dental office and he never took off his yellow (YELLOW!) aviator sunglasses, even though we were indoors, and he was constantly talking on one of those little headset thingies, even when he was talking to me, and he made sure everyone in our waiting room could hear his conversation. Apparently, he's a major player with lots of wheeling and dealing going on. There was no need to speak so loudly though. With his gold watch, polyester suit, gelled hair, and cologne that filled the room, there was no chance of possibly missing him.

No one else at my office had ever heard of the Leisure Suit Larry game. It killed me!

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Nuclear Nonsense

It's Thursday and I still haven't posted anything. My idiopathic insomnia is out to get me this week and I feel like I can barely even type this coherently. The past 2 weeks I've gotten a total of...22 hours of interrupted sleep? Maybe 23, if I round up.

This calls for a classic blog post (sounds so much nicer than rerun, right?)

*****

Remember Nuke the baby? (Click here if you missed it)(Ooh, and click if you didn't read the comments! There are some hilarious ones!)

Sadly, Sexy Nerd's nuclear weapon obsession doesn't end with our imaginary baby. What is it with guys and weapons? He came home from work the other day completely psyched up about the cool models he'd purchased. Carefully, he peeled back a layer of bubble wrap and displayed, quite proudly, what looked like a paper towel roll that someone had attached bits of paper to and spray painted silver (okay, maybe not quite like that, but pretty darn close!)

"It's an actual model of a nuclear bomb," he exclaimed!

Then, he unwrapped the other. He had actually purchased 2 of these bizarre stainless steel paperweights. Apparently, they were both different designs. They looked almost identical, at least close enough to make do with only 1 model, but Sexy Nerd says there are "big differences".

"Don't get mad," he said (don't you just love when sentences start like that?) "This one was $45."

To which I, of course, replied "YOU PAID $45 FOR A STUPID METAL ROCKET?!"

"It's not a rocket, it's a bomb! This other one was $70."

Has your jaw hit the floor over there yet? Slightly less-Sexy Nerd then explained that everyone in his department at work had bought them, that he had big plans to build an elaborate display case for them, and that there are other models to collect. He said, "The guy we bought them from had lots of other designs in the back of his car."

 He looks so normal, right?

Oh my. Sexy Nerd, I love you, but my goodness. And, no, Nuke is no name for a person. What if he grew up to be a hippie? None of the other hippies would ever take him seriously.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Puffy

After my crown lengthening surgery on Thursday morning, I went straight home to rest in bed with an ice pack over my sliced and diced mouth. When the ice pack provided by the dental office began to warm, I replaced it with a bag of frozen corn. 20 minutes on. 20 minutes off. In other words, I was a model patient.

Immediately after the procedure, I expected that I'd be a bloody, disfigured mess, unfit to be seen by anyone other than the very bravest people. Actually though, I looked almost normal, with the exception of my fancy new teeth - an improvement. I was pleasantly surprised!

Sexy Nerd came home from work several hours later. Excited to show off my beautiful new smile, I asked him how I looked.

 Him: You look pretty good, considering.

 Me: Considering they hacked off the bone and gum from 6 teeth?

 Him: Considering all the gauze stuffed in your mouth.

 Me, with what I'm sure was a look of complete horror: There's no gauze.

In the 10+ years we've been together, Sexy Nerd has never been the nurturing type (if you don't think I'm giving him enough credit, read this.) However, he stopped what he was doing, ran downstairs, and was back with a fresh ice pack within moments.


Later, he brought me dinner in bed.

It was crunchy and acidic and comprised of basically everything on my DO NOT EAT OR YOU'LL DIE post-op care instructions, but a nice gesture nonetheless.

Friday, September 5, 2014

Recovering from Crown Lengthening Surgery

This feels like a good weekend for relaxing in bed, eating soft foods, and catching up on The Simpsons.

Remember a few months ago when I was opposed to having crown lengthening surgery? I had the *awesome* dental procedure performed yesterday. They removed the gum and the bone from around 6 teeth - more bone than they were expecting!

You can see some of the stitches. Yay!

Really though, I'm just being dramatic. It went totally fine and I haven't even needed a single one of my prescriptions painkillers. The worst part was being able to hear the procedure. There's something...unnerving about listening to someone scraping your bone away.

Still, I think the results are going to look amazing. I love my new, adult-size teeth!

And, yes, they're all icky and brownish right now (even more so since the photo above was taken.) The post-surgery prescription mouthwash I have to take is brutal. It HATES white teeth!
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